Bereolaesque: My Way

gentlewoman 2 webAt the climax of our wedding, my wife and I departed the classy reception with Frank Sinatra’s beautiful song, “My Way” blaring in the background.

And now, the end is here,
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I’ll say it clear,
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain.
I’ve lived a life that’s full,
I traveled each and every highway.
And more, much more than this, I did it my way.”Frank Sinatra

And isn’t that what this thing is all about? Of course society has its rules and people have their expectations, but what’s a life lived without living it fully to the beat of your own drum?

Never mind the overly obnoxious opinions of others. It seems that’s all that social networking is nowadays. Just the other day on Twitter, I noticed the unique but controversial trending hashtag, #FeministBooty. Yes, you read that right. Women were popping up online posting pictures of their butts. But not the typical woman you might imagine. There were women from several different backgrounds and beliefs showing their backsides. The idea behind the movement was to revolt against a patriarchal society that teaches us to shame women who embrace their bodies and sexual nature. While many men took appreciation to this display of self-love, it wasn’t the purpose of the exhibition.

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich once said, “Well-behaved women rarely make history.” For far too long, women have been persecuted for having the same desires as men. Women possess clever contrasts just like we do, and it’s about time they freely express them however they desire without persecution. It’s time to cancel our subscription to contradictions. The classiest Lady might still want her hair pulled…pardon my French.

Of course, plenty of people enjoy the predictability of a classy Lady who knows all the right things to say and do. But what’s dope is when you display the unpredictable you— the you who doesn’t know what fear looks like; the one who adores her exterior as much as her interior. Never underestimate the Lady bold enough to be her.

A man must charm, convince and sometimes deceive his way into power. A silent woman can influence a nation. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was photographed in cropped pants on the Italian isle of Capri. Those pants came to be known as capris. Whether covered up or hardly covered at all, your essence of elegance will forever shine through.

Legacies aren’t limited to men or royalty. It’s important to lead a life that says, “I was here and I did it my way.”

The gentlewoman way.

Take your crown back.


– Enitan Bereola, II

Bereola’s latest bestselling book, “GENTLEWOMAN: Etiquette for a Lady, from a Gentleman has been met with critical acclaim. He’s also the author of another award-winning bestseller, “BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate.” Bereola is a celebrity ghostwriter, columnist, public speaker and etiquette impresario. Visit:, Twitter & Facebook for more info and follow him on Instagram @bereolaesque.

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