Bereolaesque: Man Cave

gentlewoman 2 webAnd y’all dudes acting way too tough/throw on a suit, get it tapered up…” –Jay Z

It’s a new year, new month and new day. It’s time to grow up. If you think I’m ruining your game, then you have none. Besides, game with no real follow-up is a weak plan. When you make a woman weak in the knees, then you need to catch her when she falls. Let’s not mess it up for the good ones.

Listen, we’re being replaced by degrees and dogs. It’s time to step up and be the men I know you’ve been called to be. None of what I’m about to say is intended to sell you out or persecute you. It’s intended to make you better. You’re worthy of that and so are women.

This is rooted in honesty and love. Gentlewomen deserve gentlemen, and anything less shouldn’t be tolerated. In order to get into Harvard University, you must meet Harvard University’s standards. In order to receive an Olympic gold medal, you must train, run and win the race. You wouldn’t put a $100 bid on a five million dollar home. So why are you attempting to give a grown woman a half-assed version of yourself?

While you’re thinking of an answer to that, read what I’ve come up with just for you:

A secure woman isn’t waiting around for you to date her–she’s living life. Next time you look up, she’ll be married…and pregnant…and happy. OK, maybe not pregnant, or married for that matter, but she’ll be happily living life without you. As men, we feel like our money has to be right and all things in place before we take that next step. But someday isn’t on any calendar. The most underrated moment is now! You know she’s the right one when you display unnecessary resistance. If you don’t make your move, someone gladly will. Don’t get so caught up “living life” that you have to learn to live with regrets. A Lady who catches onto her worth only puts up with the bull for so long. Get right or get left.

One of the cleverest acts a woman commits is acting like she doesn’t know…she does. Women somehow know everything, so know that she knows…she just hasn’t said anything, yet.

Stop taking women on emotional journeys if you’re unprepared to accompany them for the ride. Sometimes she wasn’t “crazy” until you drove her to be. She was cool until she met you. Now she’s emotionally connected and invested from all the sex, lies and empty promises. Her emotional pain could’ve been manifested in her sexuality. She was easy to smash, but you smashed her soul…genocide. Your thrusts hit her scars, reopening closed wounds. You’re actually the crazy one for pulling a disappearing act and thinking she wouldn’t react this way. FYI: Some folks are crazy without warrant. Please disregard if this is the case.

Chivalry doesn’t stop after dating. We get her, then forget how we got her and do the bare minimum to keep her. If you opened the door for her on date one, open the door for her on date 101. The more you pour into her, the more you’ll get out of her. That’s what a healthy relationship is.

If you paid full price and got half service, you’d complain too. It’s not nagging when a good woman won’t settle for a half-assed version of a man. Relationships are careers and folks are lying on their application. A resume shouldn’t only reflect what you’ve done, but what you intend to do. Deliver on your promises or be fired. False advertising is illegal. NOTE: “Crazy.” “Nag.” “Unrealistic.” Stop hurling these insults at women with common sense and just be a better man.

An uninterested lady isn’t playing hard to get–she’s uninterested. Be gone. This includes all street harassment and cat calling.

All women don’t love flowers. But the fact you were thinking of her is the gesture she loves. Find a creative and thoughtful way to let her know she crossed your mind with more than a text message.

If your lady is beautiful, other men will notice. This shouldn’t make you insecure…it should make you smile. Relax. Another man looking at your Lady is a compliment. Another man lurking after your lady is disrespect. Understand the difference.

You’ll find her blueprint in this book, but no two women are quite the same. Ladies aren’t monolithic. Take real time to get to know her specifically. Learn what makes her laugh and what makes her angry. Study her actions and reactions. Memorize the curves on her lips. Both of them.

She’s just like you. Don’t forget that.

Again, if you think I’m ruining your game, then you have none. Happy New Year, gentlemen.


– Enitan Bereola, II

Bereola is the award-winning & bestselling author of BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate. He’s also the go-to columnist, public speaker, style & etiquette impresario and celebrity ghostwriter. He’s set to release his next book entitled, “GENTLEWOMAN this month! Visit:, Twitter & Facebook for more info.

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