The Lane: En Vogue and Those Tight Red Dresses

It was all they were talking about, clearly more important than the last week of school. My first-hour class during my first year of high school was populated mostly by males, ravenous ones with raging hormones. Not even a second after entering the room then taking a seat at my desk, one of my neighboring classmates turned excitedly toward me. With his eyes practically bulging out of his head he asked me the apparent burning question of the morning: “Did YOU see En Vogue’s new video last night?!”

The attention of every guy in the room at that moment focused my direction, each of them greatly anticipating my answer. I’d already heard an obnoxious alarm clock and eaten a hearty breakfast, yet it was this inquiry which woke me up. “YES!” I exclaimed, bursting with exuberance. My peers seemingly howled their approval; it was as though they all simultaneously glimpsed a full moon only to discover they each were werewolves!  “Did you see how good they looked in those red dresses?” he asked. As the image replayed in my head, my fur, fangs and claws came out, too.

The video was for their single “Giving Him Something He Can Feel.”  In it, The Funky Divas – dressed in tighter-than-tight red dresses – sang seductively to a nightclub audience comprised only of men. As Dawn, Maxine, Terry and Cindy sashayed, twisted, and curled their bodies across the stage, their spectators were enticed to the point of joyous discomfort. I, and I assume my classmates as well, experienced this same sensation while watching on television.

The entire time the video was playing my mother and sister were sitting across the room going on and on about the song being a remake, some movie called Sparkle, debating who sang it better, and how much I resembled rabid, love-struck dog in heat. Honestly, I could care less about any of that stuff! I was enamored by what I was seeing – En Vogue swaying, switching and bending in those red dresses; and at school the next day it was more worth talking about than our eminent summer vacation. Our class was dismissed during the entire conversation.


–Mr. Joe Walker

Mr. Joe Walker, a senior contributor for, is an acclaimed entertainment and news journalist published thousands of times regionally, nationally, internationally, and online. Former Editor In Chief of both XPOZ Magazine and The Underwire Interactive Magazine, his work has graced the pages and covers of Hear/Say Now Magazine, Notion Magazine, Kalamazoo Gazette Newspaper,, and He loves to create, loves that you read. Follow him on Twitter @mrjoewalker.  Also visit and

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