Charming, Arrogant, and Emotionally Unavailable: The Study of a Narcissist

They can come in many forms: short or tall, young or old, male or female. There is no escaping their initial charm.  They are quite arrogant about their physical appearance and don’t care if you find them obnoxious. We’ve been known to love them and hate them all at the same time.  They may be that romantic partner who is emotionally unavailable and loves to play the “hot and cold” games. They may be the rap star who’s got you saying “swag”.

This is the study of a narcissist. Read on to discover their key characteristics, charismatic appeal, and manipulative ways.

“I’m Conceited.  I Got a Reason.”

Known for having a self-inflated ego, they can be seen as physically attractive.  A narcissistic female will keep up appearances by working out and making sure their hair and nails are always done.  The narcissistic man hits the gym five days a week and is usually quite built.  As it is one thing to take care of your body, a narcissist steps it up a notch.  You’ve probably caught them admiring themselves in the mirror, and they’re not really bothered if you see it.

“I Am the F*ing Be-All, End-All of Music”

Narcissism is alive and well.  It is actually so popular in our music culture today that it seems normalized.  Lyrics are transforming from “we” to “me”.  There are more songs are about self-adoration than true self-love.

The culture of Hip Hop was built on claiming that no one was better.  We all had our favorite battle raps claiming how nice an MC was.  Even Bobby Brown was in on it with “My Perogative,”  (“You can’t tell me what to do.”)  In the loved, yet soon-to-be-overplayed hit “Otis,” Jay-Z and Kanye take turns boasting about who is the bigger narcissist, as they keep their eyes on the throne.  Self-adoration is relatable in society because it brings out our confident side.  There are definitely moments I feel my egotistical self emerge when reciting those lyrics.

However, narcissism seems to be stepping past the image and blending the lines to becoming the actual person.  Outspoken rapper, Kanye West, is leading the pack.  University of Kentucky psychologist, Nathan DeWall, states, “A quintessential example of narcissism is feeling like you really know everything, that you know what’s best.  If you don’t win awards, it’s not that objectively you weren’t as good as other people.  It’s just that people don’t really understand how great you are.”

Narcissists have the urge to constantly remind you that they are “winning!”  As fun as that line is to repeat, these folks really do carry that sense of importance.  Self-absorbed with only their life, it is difficult for a narcissist to sustain a relationship.

Are We on the Brink on Narcissism?

In this day, who doesn’t have a Facebook or Twitter account?  It’s all about “I” and “me”, getting someone to comment on your status, and posting photos to garner attention.  The wired world of social media encourages us to constantly brag about ourselves, but does that mean we’re next in this world of arrogance, haughtiness, and supremacy?  I highly doubt it since the narcissist is also known to have no interest in others nor compassion for others.

Some Things Will Never Change

Whether trying to work with, love, or simply coexist with a narcissist, remember one thing – never try to change them.  There has been too many who unsuccessfully try to “fix” the narcissist.

Just as the story of Narcissus, they live in their own fantasy world and will ultimately remain gazing at their own reflection, too selfish to let anyone else in.  They love only themselves…and they really don’t care how you feel about it.

Are you a narcissist? Take the Narcissistic Personality Inventory http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-03-16-pinsky-quiz_N.htm

– Zoey Flowers

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Zoey Flowers is a freelance writer and Hip Hop lover. She was a representative for various major record labels and has contributed to other music websites, television, and radio shows.

 



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