Spring-cleaning includes people.
“I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited / But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it / I had hoped you’d see my face / And that you’d be reminded that for me it isn’t over.”
In Adele’s beautiful but conflicting song, “Someone Like You,” the U.K. soul singer is in an intimate battle against herself to let go of old love. Just like Adele, many of us struggle to let go of anything that’s necessary to move forward.
The sun has melted the winter’s ice away and is shinning straight through the skylights of homes across the U.S. putting dirty rooms on display. Spring-cleaning is considered practical due to April’s weather. It’s warm enough to open windows and doors to let the dust out, but not so warm that is allows insects to infiltrate the privacy of one’s home. But some of us still welcome certain parasites – I mean people – into the most intimate part of us… our souls.
Some people are people hoarders – they need their own special on A&E. They can never have enough besties, friends, best friends, BFF’s, associates, pals or enemies. They collect them like groupies collect STD’s. And we can’t even categorize them anymore – they’re all beginning to blend together.
Failure to discard useless items is a compulsive disorder. Failure to discard useless people is a dumb disorder. Certain people are meant to be in our lives for a season so stop allowing dead weight to carry snowflakes in your springtime. No matter how much of a rescuer we think we are, it’s not always our assigned duty to improve the lives of others. Sometimes holding onto people further cripples them more than it will ever heal or help. Letting go of someone doesn’t mean he or she will never improve, it just means God is better suited for the job.
Log onto Twitter and do some unfollowing, sign onto Facebook and do some un-friending and pick up your smart phone and do some damn deleting. Spring clean your life before you even begin to clean out your garage. Spring clean your health before you pick up a broom. Spring clean your closet before you even pull out a hanger. New beginnings aren’t reserved for New Years.
Ladies, this is for you: Give him the greatest springtime gift. Give him…up! Letting go just might be the best gift for you and him. You’ve waited time and time again for unfulfilled promises for him to get his life together. You’re not helping him; you’re hindering him from walking on his own into his own purpose. Don’t wait for the perfect time to let go; the most underrated moment is now.
Gentlemen, this is for you: An excessive acquisition of women doesn’t make you a player or a pimp – it makes you a hoarder. And just like hoarders, you make yourself more susceptible to disease, depression and debt. The foolish man continually seeks temporary pleasures in a wild assortment of women. But a gentleman knows when it’s time to leave the playpen and have a seat on his throne with his queen.
If you fear the future look back and see how God took care of you in the past. Toady is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday. In order to receive your blessing, you first have to let go.
– Enitan Bereola, II
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Bereola is the go-to style and etiquette impresario, public speaker and entrepreneur. He is also the author of the critically acclaimed BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate. He is working on his follow-up, Guide to Ladies’ Etiquette from a Gentleman’s Perspective. Find him at his new website bereolaesque-online.com, or@bereolaesque on Twitter as well as his Facebook fan page.