Soul-O Love

valentines_heart_boxIt’s the time of year when phone calls are being avoided, text messages ignored and blocked call lists filled up. Men are locked away in bunkers and women are storing food away. The roads are empty and restaurants are at capacity. You’d think it was World War III outside, but it’s worse – it’s Valentine’s Day.

For some unhappy singles, Valentine’s Day seems like a day set aside to highlight loneliness. For a few folks who are single and content, the 14th forces those to focus on what they don’t have, and for the moment forget about all they do have. For millions of singles who opt out of a relationship 364 days out of the year, Valentine’s Day is the only day some wish to reconsider that choice. But avoiding single isn’t reason enough to get into a relationship, love is. And with love and romance being Cupid’s theme for the day, some singles end up hating on both.

In real life, love isn’t reserved for one day. Love is an unconditional verb that creates and sustains lives daily. However, there is nothing at all wrong with joining in on the celebration of love on this upcoming holiday.

How to Celebrate Valentine’s Day Happy and Solo:

  • – Hang out with a friend, family, or just you. Love isn’t reserved for romantic relationships. Celebrate the loved ones in your life and celebrate the love of you.
  • – Take a vacation. If you’ve suffered a romantic loss or just aren’t prepared to deal with the holiday, take a much needed vacation. Valentine’s Day can heighten the sadness surrounding recent break-ups, loss of loved ones or depression. Get away to a relaxing place that will completely take your mind away from the hype.
  • – Gift yourself. Valentine’s Day is the perfect time for you to justify getting a gift for yourself. Whether an iPad, a flat-screen or a copy of “Bereolaesque” – get what you’ve always wanted on February 14th.
  • – Give love. Some of us need to take the focus off of us for once. The ability to offer something to someone satisfies our natural being with a sense of joy.

Couples, this is for you: If you’re in a happy relationship, don’t let your unhappy friends who are out of a relationship ruin your moment – on Valentine’s Day, you should ignore singles like the dancers at Magic City. Bask in the fact that you found someone to share love with. Proverbs 18:22 told me that a man who finds a wife, finds a good thing. Enjoy your good thing.

Singles, this is for you: Don’t ever hate on love – it’s senseless. And don’t hate on those in love – it’s vengeance. An ugly mind attracts an ugly person… that’s why you’re single (unhappily). Exude a character of gratitude for life and perhaps you’ll find your wife – and wives, perhaps you’ll be found. Also, understand that being single isn’t a sickness. Sometimes the best company for the moment is you.

Why focus on being blue when the color of love is red? There is no need to hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your husbands or hide yourself. Proudly place your heart on display so others can see its beauty. Don’t get caught up in negativity – Valentine’s Day is a day set aside to acknowledge what we should all do every day, and that’s love.

“Just open your heart / Cause there’s someone out there who’s needing you now / A little love / Is something that can’t be replaced / Put a smile on each face / Somehow, right now.” –Brian McKnight, ‘It’s All About Love.’


— Enitan Bereola, II

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Bereola is the go-to style and etiquette impresario, public speaker and entrepreneur. He is also the author of the critically acclaimed BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate. He is working on his follow-up, Guide to Ladies’ Etiquette from a Gentleman’s Perspective. Find him at and at

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