Every time we get into a car, there is a risk of an accident. Every time we get into a relationship, there is a risk of heartbreak. We’re afraid of heartbreak, but we’re not afraid to drive? Get in!
Common sense is the insurance of heartbreak but few of us can afford this free policy. Ignorance yields a high return of bliss, so we’ve invested in it and bought up a spot on cloud-9. When your head is in the clouds, you can’t see what’s happening right in front of you. But heartbreak isn’t only reserved for a “fool in love.” A broken heart doesn’t discriminate–it can hurt anybody. Anything in life that has great benefit to us, may be a little risky to get hold of, relationships included. It’s important to ensure your risks are calculated, but fear of risk ensures singleness.
Some of us are so afraid of the risk in vulnerability that we will never experience the breath-taking dimensions of a beautiful relationship. You can’t just fly over the surface of Paris, France in a plane and truly enjoy all the city has to offer–you have to go all the way in. You can’t halfway contribute to a relationship and expect to receive anything from it–you have to go all the way in! I was once unwilling to fully open in my relationships. I was able to date for years while maintaining my private demeanor because my personality and charm overcompensated for my closed heart. This kept me safe, but also kept from fully experiencing love. A closed heart can neither receive or give. It’s better to love and be hurt than to never have loved at all.
Gentlemen, this is for you: If you don’t know how to open up, start by actually answering her questions. I’ve learned that being open to her can be beautiful. A woman’s personal inquiries aren’t designed to be invasive. Her questions are attempts to connect with us on a deeper meaningful and passionate level. A woman puts into a relationship exactly what she expects out of it–watch and observe. You can’t watch football with the cable unplugged–you can’t function in a relationship with you unplugged. Relationships are useless with no connection. A good woman who knows you and all of you is a powerful woman. Wonder where the term “mother knows best” came from? Because mother truly does know you best. I think it’s time your lady does too. If you see a successful man, realize that there is a lady nearby who helped him get there. Better open up.
Ladies, this is for you: Some of us may be crazy, but we’re not nuts and you damn sure can’t crack us open. Never attempt to pry or force our feelings out of us. The results are similar to prying teeth out–no anesthesia. Be patient with us more, love us harder, and show us that we can count on you. When a dog begins to trust a new houseguest, it’s behavior changes… well you say we’re dogs, right? Love like you never loved before and you’ll be loved like you’ve never been loved before.
Pleasantries.
– Enitan Bereola, II
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Bereola is the go-to style and etiquette impresario, public speaker and entrepreneur. He is also the author of the critically acclaimed BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate. He is working on his follow-up, Guide to Ladies’ Etiquette from a Gentleman’s Perspective. Find him at www.twitter.com/Bereolaesque and at www.facebook.com/Bereolaesque
