Discretion is advised.
Jay-Z and Beyoncé kept their relationship private – they’re happily married. Brandy announced her brief stint with Flo-Rida on a VH1 reality show and they didn’t make it past date one.
The appeal of privacy has become so appealing that businesses have come up with several lucrative and entertaining ways to invade it. TMZ has even come up with a program that lurks into the personal lives of celebrities, only to prove that they too do regular things like pump gas, go out for coffee and pick their nose just like regular human beings. Exciting!
What is it that drives people to inquire about the personal affairs of others when it serves them no benefit? Is it an innate curiosity, or a more trivial matter of gossip that drives us to unnecessarily involve ourselves in business that isn’t ours? Perhaps it’s our selfish desire for attention that provokes us to willingly give up all that’s sacred. With growth in popularity of social networking sites, never has it been easier to find out that Johnnie and Jessica broke up because Jessica saw Johnnie tweeting his “jump-off” Jasmine.
Twelfth century author, Andreas Capellanus said, “When made public, love rarely endures.” Translated today, his statement simply means, if you let the world in your relationship, the world will end your relationship. This form of discretion doesn’t mean hide your love life in the dark – we’re supposed to let our lights shine. However, it means be wise about the information you share and with whom you share it with.
Transparency serves its purpose when it benefits the lives of others – if it doesn’t, then it isn’t their business. Being opaque is obscure and impenetrable, but allows no light in. So live translucently. A translucent life permits a percentage of light to pass through depending on several variables, but isn’t clearly see-through. In other words, living translucently lets you control who has access to your life depending on your level of trust for them. Live a translucent life.
Ladies, this is for you: Consistent bragging about how good your man is in bed may cause your girlfriends to find out for themselves. Learn to keep certain aspects of intimacy and love life private. “A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.” –Proverbs 11:22
Gentlemen, this is for you: Private pleasures are preferable to public swagger. Conspicuous consumption is played out. Obnoxiously flaunting your riches is the same as obnoxiously flaunting your insecurities. Your money doesn’t have to speak for you. Speak for yourself. And don’t even think about gossiping – girls gossip, men don’t.
Keep your personal life private and protect what’s sacred, even on Facebook … now tweet that.
Pleasantries.
– Enitan Bereola, II
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Bereola is the go-to style and etiquette impresario, public speaker and entrepreneur. He is also the author of the critically acclaimed BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate. He is working on his follow-up, Guide to Ladies’ Etiquette from a Gentleman’s Perspective. Find him at www.twitter.com/Bereolaesque and at www.facebook.com/Bereolaesque
