Views: Soul-ed for Gold

“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” –John 8:7

Well, I don’t believe in killing so the execution of one’s character isn’t my strong suit. I don’t have any stones to throw at anyone. I’m simply a gentleman and constant lover of the finer things in life. But if I had stones to throw, they would be made of gold. And if I threw these gold stones at a gold-digging woman, she certainly wouldn’t be afraid of getting hit–she would catch each one and thank me later!

On Hip Hop artist Drake’s upcoming album, Thank Me Later, he tells tales of his progression to the top of his game. In his newest single, “Over,” he subtly sings, “So they tell me that they love me, I know better than that, it’s just game / It’s just what comes with the fame, and I’m ready for that, I’m just saying.” It seems Drake is all too familiar with the groupie and gold digger mentality–well so am I.

Acquiring gold requires a methodical and dirty approach. When panning for this precious element, you’re bound to come up with more dirt than gold. Yet everyday across America, more women are trading in their most precious element (the soul) for an empty house and a silly-looking dog on a designer leash. The value of something is what you’re willing to give up for it. You don’t value yourself when you trade your goals, self worth and “va-jay-jay” for a lifestyle you haven’t earned. We’d like you more if you loved you more.

Gold digging isn’t a new phenomenon but it’s a pathetic one. To engage in any relationship with the ill intention of deception or establishing material possessions as primary interest is un-Bereolaesque. Prioritizing financial security over all other factors is a selfish recipe for disaster. It’s been proven that responding to what someone has instead of who they are will only make you a bitter star of a VH1 reality show. If you insist on being a groupie, stalk your dreams–let success be your sex. Stop digging for fool’s gold, when you’re already a gem. The potential is in you. Just work hard, dust the dirt off and others will see your shine.

Gentlemen, this is for you: You have a responsibility to stop creating gold-diggers. She wasn’t even digging for gold until you introduced her to your money before introducing yourself. Unless she’s a prostitute, she’s not up for sale. Don’t spend to get her because you’ll have to spend to keep her. Your pockets are too deep for you to be so shallow. Her vagina doesn’t have a brain, but you should. It’s pretty dumb to date a lady who’s dumb pretty, but pretty dumb. A gold digger’s main objective is to get pregnant and lock you in. A condom is cheaper than child support and abstinence is free. Pay attention.

On the contrary, if she sacrificed her time and energy on you when it was all a dream, then sacrifice your Black Card on her when it becomes a reality. If she was present during the rags, it would be unfair to ask for a pre-nuptial agreement after the riches. By the way, there are male gold-diggers too.

Ladies, this is for you: There’s nothing wrong with desiring a man with financial security as long as you can create the same without him. Popular culture promotes a prominent theme of men “buying” woman’s affection. Protect your mind, handle your thoughts and control your actions. Wake up from the daydream of a man supplying all your needs as you sit oceanside doing nothing with your life. You have all the potential within you to create that lifestyle for yourself. Your life of security, financial freedom and luxury has nothing to do with a man. Marrying money will leave you sold for gold at the owner’s disposal.

A big booty doesn’t replace face and certainly doesn’t replace intelligence. Subtract the fake chest, sugar daddy and designer handbag and what do you have? You don’t want to lose your identity in his shadow. Find yourself before you find a man and if you feel like you need a man’s money to complete you, then you aren’t a complete person. Why sell yourself for a broken heart knowing no amount of money can repair it? Before telling him what you’re looking for, let him show you who he is. Don’t let VH1 fool you–real love does exist. There’s nothing flawed about love. The only flaw is the vehicle through which love is channeled–you and me.

Stop wasting your time. “Time is your biggest asset that you can’t get back.” This golden nugget is a quote from VH1’s own “basketball wife,” Jennifer Williams. Put it in your purse and thank me later.

Pleasantries.

– Enitan Bereola, II

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Bereola is the go-to style and etiquette impresario, public speaker and entrepreneur. He is also the author of the critically acclaimed BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate. He is working on his follow-up, Guide to Ladies’ Etiquette from a Gentleman’s Perspective. Find him at www.twitter.com/Bereolaesque and at www.facebook.com/Bereolaesque