In the Beverley Knight song, “Beautiful Contradiction,” featured neo-soul artist, Musiq Soulchild so appropriately sings, “Baby we make such a beautiful contradiction / Together we are in no two ways the same. Baby we make such a beautiful contradiction / And it’s the very thing that sparks the flame.”
Well if there’s a flame, then there must be wine. And if there’s wine, there must be a lady. Wine doesn’t taste good without a lady, but a lady who drinks too much is considered a lush. A man who drinks too much is considered a man.
Let’s talk about sex–the more sex a man has, the more he is to be praised. The more sex a lady has, well, she’s just a whore. And we don’t like freaks in the streets, but if she’s in our sheets, then it’s all good.
In a contemporary world of respect, love and equal rights for all, it seems double standards are the standard. Men and women are getting away with more and less and pointing the finger at both. It’s a dangerous lifestyle to be divided in interests or loyalties, wavering, uncertain, two-faced or half-hearted. James 1:8 says, “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.”
Well, what is it about double standards that are so appealing to us? Double standards allow selective obedience. They are a matter of convenience that allows us to justify deplorable behaviors. Racists hide behind double standards to perpetrate hate. Men hide behind double standards for a sense of control. And women hide behind double standards for comfort, acceptance and security. Simply put, double standards are whack.
Gentlemen, this is for you: Our own medicine doesn’t taste too good. Women are becoming more like us. They ignore our calls, disappear, resurface and act like nothing happened. The more we understand women, the better off male/female relations will be. When we shop for a new car we ask the dealer tons of questions before making the big investment–don’t be mad when a lady does the same to you. We have too many subscriptions to contradictions. Let’s give ladies a better medicine prescription. We must make an effort to stop falling victim to the “do as I say, not as I do” mentality. That old school mindset is buried with the men who created it. Ask yourself, what’s the difference between a man with double standards and a jackass? Nothing.
Ladies, this is for you: Stop condemning Nicki Minaj, while dancing to Lil’ Wayne. It’s illogical to hold one sex to a higher standard than the other. Greatness should be expected across the board. And you can’t complain about men needing to pull their pants up when you’re constantly pulling yours down. I understand your fight for equality but don’t yell equality when life is inconvenient, then run from equality when it’s convenient. If it’s okay for you to wear fake hair and act like it’s yours, then it’s okay for us to drive our friend’s Benz and act like it’s ours. Make sense? I didn’t think so.
The social studies of male and female behavior have led to debate, divorce and death. We need to kill this senseless Venus versus Mars competition that’s been going on for decades. We need ladies and they need us. It’s not Venus versus Mars, it’s Venus with Mars. Let’s focus on everything right with us, instead of everything wrong with us. Learn to appreciate, enjoy and love our differences instead of shunning them; it’s what makes us beautiful.
Pleasantries.
– Enitan Bereola, II
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Bereola is the go-to style and etiquette impresario, public speaker and entrepreneur. He is also the author of the critically acclaimed BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate. He is working on his follow-up, Guide to Ladies’ Etiquette from a Gentleman’s Perspective. Find him at www.twitter.com/Bereolaesque and at www.facebook.com/Bereolaesque
