Technology is sexy. It’s been known to help build amazing careers, create Academy Award-winning films and is responsible for cultivating most of your favorite albums. Technology is the theme of R&B artist, Trey Songz cleverly titled single, “LOL Smiley face.” But technology is also responsible for destruction. It’s been speculated that actor, Jennifer Aniston ended her relationship with famed musician, John Mayer because of his Twitter obsession. And celebrity golfer, Tiger Woods had his “good guy” image destroyed for sending inappropriate text messages to his 17 mistresses.
It’s far too obvious to state that texting while driving is dangerous, but what about texting while dating? Society seems to be obsessed with quick and convenient conversation. Real relationships are hard to come by nowadays. You have to send a BBM (BlackBerry Messenger) request before you can say hi.
Relationships are a state of connectedness between people. Remember when the two of you would fight about who would hang up first? Or how about getting her phone number, running home to use it, but getting scared and hanging up when she said hello? And remember getting the guts to finally ask her out over the phone and actually take her on a date? Technology is taking the life out of relationships. People need human interaction to survive. When technology is too heavily involved, there’s no real connection and no work required. To build relationships on text is to build a bridge on ice–the foundation isn’t strong enough to sustain when the heat is on.
Technology is the shortcut to real relations. She doesn’t know you; she just knows your screen name. You can’t smell her sexy scent through Skype. Whatever happened to stopping by to say hello? Actually you’re better off sending her a “tweet” because she’ll probably respond to it before responding to the doorbell. Let technology enhance the relationship, not replace it.
Gentlemen, this is for you: If you want some PDA, put down your PDA. You didn’t make it past date one because you don’t know how to put down your phone. Ladies like to hear us, not read us. So if all you did was text her, you’re going to need to find the next her. Don’t believe Soulja Boy, you can’t kiss her through the phone.
Ladies, this is for you: You’ve been sold a dream. If all he does is text you, it’s not a real relationship. Learn to be upfront. Let a man know your dating guidelines right away. We do what you allow us to do. If you prefer personal interaction to a robot relationship, let it be known. The longer you wait to tell us, the more dreams you will be sold.
Technology is cool but reality is cooler. Online life should reflect real life, anyway. Your status update says “hang gliding over Cannes” but I just saw you at Burger King ordering a number two combo with no onions. Too many dreams are being sold on eBay via BlackBerrys and iPhones. I’ve got reality for sale, folks–who wants to buy some?
Pleasantries.
– Enitan Bereola, II
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Bereola is the go-to style and etiquette impresario, public speaker and entrepreneur. He is also the author of the critically acclaimed BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate. He is working on his follow-up, Guide to Ladies’ Etiquette from a Gentleman’s Perspective. Find him at www.twitter.com/Bereolaesque and at www.facebook.com/Bereolaesque
