In 1993, rapper Ice Cube informed us all that we better check ourselves before we wreck ourselves. Seventeen years later that adage still holds true. In 1982, George Clinton suggested that all men are dogs, with his hit record, “Atomic Dog.” Twenty-eight years later, there’s just no truth in that suggestion. Men aren’t dogs, but we’re not far off either. We’re men of dog spelled backward with a capital ‘G’!
Men of God are far more respected than we’ve ever been. In 2010 we are cool and trusted, talented musicians, actors, presidents, executives, artists, authors, business and family men with a love of self and others. Sure, there’s a subset of men who just don’t measure up to a woman’s standards and never will, but it would be foolish to say that “all men are dogs.” So why is this phrase so popular?
Ladies, there are several options to explore here but not enough writing space. Some of you constantly complain about a lack of good men but where are you going? Are you perusing the right places? You wouldn’t go to the library and ask for ketchup with your fries, so stop going to the club expecting to spot a quality man. Not every man at the club is a bad man, but the odds aren’t in your favor either. Diversify your social experience. Another question to ask is, are you a good woman? You attract who you are and what you preach–continue preaching that all men are dogs and see what you end up with, hmm…
Ladies, this is for you: It takes two million dollars to buy a two million dollar house. And it takes a good woman to get a good man. Plain and simple, you get what you offer. Until you match your own checklist, put the pen down and be real with your expectations, please. Raised standards are fine, but realism is better. You may need to do a soul check because you’re writing checks your soul can’t currently cash.
Gentlemen, this is for you: Some men are like branches, and others are like roots. Branches are easily broken, while roots have a firm foundation that is unmoved despite accrued damage. Most good men are suddenly finding themselves desirable by quality women but still bleed bitterness from old wounds. Back then she didn’t want you, but now that she’s matured, she’s all on you. Brothers, we need to get off our high horses, forgive these ladies and treat them fairly. Just because you fall into the percentage of “good men” doesn’t mean you should take advantage of it. You think you’re the man, but if she’s not cooking breakfast, you’re really not doing anything anyway. As Ice Cube would have it, “You need to check yourself before you wreck yourself.”
Pleasantries.
– Enitan Bereola, II
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Bereola is the go-to style and etiquette impresario, public speaker and entrepreneur. He is also the author of the critically acclaimed BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate. He is working on his follow-up, Guide to Ladies’ Etiquette from a Gentleman’s Perspective. Find him at www.twitter.com/Bereolaesque and at www.facebook.com/Bereolaesque
