In Jamie Foxx’s newest single, he explains that “he can’t speak French but he’ll tongue you down.” Cleverly put, but I’m sure most ladies would prefer a hello first. You don’t arrive at a destination without traveling to get there, and you don’t rush intimacy without speaking to a lady first.
Most of us can’t speak French, but we know English. We know plenty of bull****, but we can’t speak truth. Some even know sign language, but most certainly don’t know Soul-language, and Soul-language is the language of love!
On the fourteenth day of the second month of each year, we take the time to acknowledge and celebrate love. Valentine’s Day, like any other notable holiday, is simply when someone important in your life is celebrated. During Christmas, we celebrate Jesus’ birth; on Easter we acknowledge His resurrection. Mother’s Day is for mothers, and Father’s Day for fathers. There’s even a Parent’s Day to celebrate them both. So why does Valentine’s Day get such a bad wrap?
Yes, the opportunity for love is ever-present, and everyday should be Valentine’s Day, but why not join in on the fun to express your own language? You don’t have to use cheesy Hallmark cards, cheap chocolates and reflective Mylar balloons to say I love you. Speak your own language and make Valentine’s Day your own. Some see the holiday as a successful business opportunity for florists, restaurants and jewelers. But you don’t have to buy into the commercialization or spend big. What’s the harm being creative? Where’s the harm in love?
Ladies, this message is to you: If you’re single, celebrate self love and love of family and friends. You don’t have to dread Valentine’s Day just to make it easier to deal with. Most won’t admit to the real reason but it must be difficult to deal with love thrown in your face when you don’t have love. In order for someone else to love you, you must first love yourself. So while lovers are busy loving, don’t hate on love; it’s oxymoronic. Work on your own Soul-language. If you’re not single, men want gifts too. We’ll hand you yours when you hand us ours (smile).
Gentlemen, this message is to you: Now isn’t the time to go into hiding. If you’ve been dating her, you’d better have something planned for the 14th. It doesn’t have to be a romantic expression either. No pressure. For some ladies, the most important thing you can spend on them is time. Besides, any excuse to show her you care should be celebrated, sir. Slowly speak your Soul-language to her.
So while the world speaks their Soul-language on February 14th, keep your mouth shut if you don’t have anything nice to say. To allow bitterness and the feeling of lonely to manifest into hatred is simply UNBEREOLAESQUE. Pleasantries and Happy Valentine’s Day to you all!
– Enitan Bereola, II
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Bereola is the go-to style and etiquette impresario, public speaker and entrepreneur. He is also the author of the critically acclaimed BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate. He is working on his follow-up, Guide to Ladies’ Etiquette from a Gentleman’s Perspective. Find him at www.twitter.com/Bereolaesque and at www.facebook.com/Bereolaesque
