“And I’m so sick of love songs / So tired of tears / So done with wishing you were still here / Said I’m so sick of love songs so sad and slow / So why can’t I turn off the radio?”

Apparently Ne-Yo was going through a bad break-up when he penned these lyrics on his debut album, In My Own Words. But in my own words, being single isn’t as bad as society makes it out to be. Sure, love is a beautiful concept meant for two compatible people, but biological clocks force some women into bad relationships.

This fascination with finding Mr. Right has caused a role reversal so severe that women are now chasing after men. You can find this example on display on just about any reality show from ABC to VH1. But the reality is we’re not living reality TV. Don’t be fooled, a lady who searches for a man usually ends up with a dog. God designed it that He delivers us to you. That’s the beauty of it all. But some ladies are too busy doing Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” dance to notice Mr. Right right in front of them anyway.

Other women are too busy planning their wedding before they plan their marriage. This disastrous sense of urgency will likely lead him to do what Usher sang and, “sign them papers.”

Then there’s you. You are the strong women with great careers, financial independence and sex appeal on a whole other level because you realize that your worth isn’t determined by what a man chooses to do. You’ve got it going on and desire a man that has the same. This doesn’t make you stuck up, it makes you smart. In the meantime, you understand that there is nothing wrong with being single.

Ladies, this message is to you: If you look in the mirror and you don’t see a quality woman looking back at you, then don’t expect a quality man. You have to love you first before a man can come along and love you better. On the other hand, if you do have yourself together, don’t sell yourself short for a bottle of cheap cologne and warm champagne. Proverbs 31:10 says, “You’re worth is far more than that of rubies.” Don’t be afraid of lonely. Until a true gentleman that exceeds your standards comes along, celebrate your single and simply go Soul-O.

Gentlemen, this message is to you: Stop dressing up as a Barack when you’re really a Tiger Woods (no one’s perfect). You’re making our beautiful women afraid to love again. Don’t take advantage of single ladies desperate for love. Instead, work on you until you’re Bereolaesque enough to have what you both deserve. Until then, just stay Soul-O.

– Enitan Bereola, II

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Bereola is the go-to style and etiquette impresario, public speaker and entrepreneur. He is also the author of the critically acclaimed BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate. He is working on his follow-up, Guide to Ladies’ Etiquette from a Gentleman’s Perspective. Find him at www.twitter.com/Bereolaesque and at www.facebook.com/Bereolaesque