As men, why do we submit ourselves to these caveman-like standards: the same underwear for days, dirty clothes and lack of grooming? I am not suggesting putting on a dress, hair and make-up, but a little masculine grooming will go a long way. A gentleman’s wardrobe should contain collections that reflect a cultured way of life.

 

We all know that person who breezes into a room, immediately commanding the attention of all people within. He is no supermodel or sexually appealing guy by ladies’ standards. Hell, half of the time he is not one the ladies would deem handsome. What is it about him that freezes time, forcing the attention of everyone around to focus on him? Simply put, style. A lady is sometimes willing to overlook what you’re lacking in the looks department if you’ve got that soul style.

 

A gentleman adheres to the rules of fashion, but has adapted and modified it to his own style so that he has distinction in his appearance. Style is what defines you—it gives you individuality in a climate of redundancy. It is what makes you the yellow in a room of gray. Your style should be unique to your personality. It should be such that when others attempt to duplicate it, they fail to measure up.

 

A gentleman should walk, talk and dress with a certain style. He should have a style of conducting business, move with a distinct style and even have a particular style of thought. Style is something that is completely natural and should never be forced. It is built from experience, and in order to develop style, you must embrace diversity.

 

Your style is a basic defining characteristic. Be cautious not to overdo it—a vulgar style is always too much for the occasion, no matter what the fashion of the moment may be. It is extreme or accessorized out of proportion. People of bad taste are apt to fancy distortions that exaggerate rather than modify style. This does not mean you cannot express creativity, but only those who are Bereolaesque can pull off that fine balance between creativity and classic style.

 

You do not need a stylist to have style. A gentleman with talent, taste and originality can be suitably and charmingly dressed on even a modest annual income. The focus is not always on what you purchase, but how you wear it. The stylish gentleman attracts a lady with just a t-shirt and jeans on—his appeal transcends his garments.

 

By far, the most important element in a gentleman’s closet is not a garment at all—it is his confidence. Every gentleman should wear his confidence like he wears his underwear. He should put it on before any other article of clothing. Wearing your confidence allows you to wear just about anything you like.

 

Take, for instance, the incredibly talented Lenny Kravitz, Prince, or Elvis Presley, for that matter. Now, I am not suggesting wearing a skin-tight one-piece, but I am suggesting that their confidence allows them to creatively and expressively wear what they want, and get away with it. Women around the world find confidence sexy. Just don’t allow your confidence to overshadow your humility and have it mistaken for arrogance—that’s not sexy.

 

– Enitan Bereola, II

 

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Bereola is the go-to style and etiquette impresario, public speaker and entrepreneur. He is also the author of the critically acclaimed BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate. He is working on his follow-up, Guide to Ladies’ Etiquette from a Gentleman’s Perspective. Find him at www.twitter.com/Bereolaesque and at www.facebook.com/Bereolaesque